My Approach
My approach to codependency recovery is based on a framework I call RESPECT, a distillation of the key elements of our current practical knowledge. It can also be followed as a step-by-step process, with the T, transformation, as the ultimate goal.
I believe joy is the magnetic field that guides our inner compass. And while recovery often involves subtraction — less caretaking, less controlling, less enmeshment, less sacrifice — I want to place equal emphasis on addition: discovering and nurturing the things that bring us joy. I’m especially drawn to the idea of Wild Joy — the joy wrapped in serendipity, the kind we feel when we’re able to show up in the world unguarded, and free from dependency and its close cousin, expectation.
RESPECT
R → Recognize
Notice patterns of self-abandonment, and accompanying feelings.
E → Empathize
Offer compassion and understanding to yourself and others.
S → Specify Needs
Clarify what you want in relationships, work, and daily life.
P → Practice Boundaries
Foster a differentiated sense of self.
E → Empower Choices
Strengthen self-trust by making aligned, authentic decisions.
C → Connect Authentically
Show up with honesty and acceptance in your relationships.
T → Transform
Integrate the work so respect for self and others becomes your foundation.