My approach to codependency recovery is based on a framework I call RESPECT, a distillation of the key elements of our current practical knowledge. It can also be followed as a step-by-step process, with the T, transformation, as the ultimate goal.

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I believe joy is the magnetic field that guides our inner compass. And while recovery often involves subtraction — less caretaking, less controlling, less enmeshment, less sacrifice — I want to place equal emphasis on addition: discovering and nurturing the things that bring us joy. I’m especially drawn to the idea of Wild Joy — the joy wrapped in serendipity, the kind we feel when we’re able to show up in the world unguarded, and free from dependency and its close cousin, expectation.